When I started trying to write this post, probably back in February, I was at the point where I was amazed by my anatomy classes and how God made the body and how it all works together.
And I still am, but the phrase "fearfully and wonderfully made" has taken on so many many different meanings to me since that time.
I have to be honest with you, for a little bit there, I was stuck in a rut. Same old classes, same old work, same old routine where I spend every moment possible with other people and doing anything to fill my free time because I hate sitting still.
But in desiring to lose that stillness, I lost my desire to spend time with God everyday, which should always be a red flag.
And it was. The more often things like that happen, the less time it takes me to get to the point where I realize why it is that I'm stuck in a rut.
The thing that I've been struggling with and that I'm being called to work on right now is comparing myself to other people and trying to be the best I can possibly be in everyone else's eyes. Which gets so tiring and boring and frustrating, because you can never win and you can never let your guard down.
So I've been reading verse after verse and listening to sermon after sermon about "being content in every situation" and "finding your identity in Christ."
And none of them were actually helping me any.
I mean not in the way that it makes it any easier to apply it to my life. Because once you understand something, you're automatically changed forever.
Right?
WRONG.
Today was different though.
Today, I actually found a verse that made me understand my compulsive need to compare myself to other people. It made remembering that God made me different than everyone else for a reason much easier.
But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that you might receive adoption as sons. (Galatians 4:4-5)
We are under the law, but not by any choice you've ever made. Its written in your heart and it manifests itself in your mind (Hebrews 10:16). Whether you like it or not, this is the only place your sense of morality comes from.
We were made to be in a divine relationship with our Maker. However, the reality of the situation is that our relationship with God is broken because of our sin.
Enter insecurity.
We constantly compare ourselves to other people because we have an insecurity deep down that comes from the disconnect we have with God.
We need to fill our lives with being the best at the things we love--even the things we don't love--because we have to fill the void somehow.
So to combat this, we have to constantly be striving to be in God's perfect will and to be spending boatloads of time with Jesus everyday.
Not thinking about how "I'm supposed to be content, so I'm going to make myself be content."
When you're spending time in God's word like you should be, everything else in your life lines itself up as well. Worries fade away, peace takes the place of confusion and hurt, wounds are healed.
And comparing yourself to other people isn't as tempting because you know that God's plan for their life is completely different than yours but still just as beautiful.
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