so,
I heard something that clicked all of the gears
of race and gender and culture and justice and awareness
into place
and everything finally made sense,
at least a little more than it had been
because I've been having a bit of a crisis
a white privileged
white girl
finally realizing that her world
isn't the "right" world
crisis
I've been realizing that the Christianity I've been practicing is
really west-side
westernized
Americanized
middle class
passive
and that in other places
they don't do things the same way as I do
But I heard this person
in this video
(worth watching)
say that
"if you're going to be involved in cross-cultural ministry
(aka LIFE)
know who you are--
understand your culture.
so when you come to [different cultures] of people
you will know
what you need to shed
so you can bring only the Gospel"
so, I'm going to let y'all in on a little bit of my realizations
in a hope for the start of some cultural reconciliation
because I need to articulate what I'm carrying in so I can leave it at the door
and you just see Jesus
I am white
very, very, white
I didn't really realize it until I got thrown into a place
that's a little less white than where I was before
or maybe just a little more culturally aware
(yeah, that's right
this place is more willing to talk about it than where I started
so have a little grace when I don't know what I'm saying
I'm still learning how to have these conversations)
But man am I white
I don't claim any heritage other than American
my families from the Ozark South
I've spent most of my days in Colorado Springs, Colorado
and man it is conservative
but everyone is just totally ok with it being that
and don't really want to know what the word really means
Creationism was never questioned
Focus on the Family is the normal standard belief system
and Fox News is a respected source of information
Republican is just what you were
unless you are a liberal, then that's real bad news for you
or anyone else that might be categorized on the blue side of the line
money we always had plenty of
even when recession hit we didn't have to worry too much
upper-middle classic
grew up in a nice school district
got to go far away to expensive Christian college
never really thought much about it
other than an average amount of gratitude
never really realized how lucky I was to not have to worry about a bank account
never really realized there were actually poor people I actually needed to help
but the government shouldn't take care of those poor people
because they're drug addict alcoholics
who did it to themselves
all of 'em
right?
but wait, who's going to take care of them then?
ignorance is bliss
wait, what?
all I knew about race came from rich-district history class
and I made my fair share of jokes about my not so diverse school
and I grew up not knowing that the house always wins
and I was the house
but
I thought that equality was all
A-OK since
MLK had a dream
and when
LBJ signed the
CRA
everything was...
broken? still?
no! it was supposed to be fixed
yet,
my suburbs were too whitewashed to see the system that lie beneath
and I lived thinking all racism was gone with the sixties
I learned almost everything I know about the Bible in a Southern Baptist church
raising your hands is for youth group, and only occasionally during big church
you could say I struggle with legalism sometimes
I thought drinking was a sin until my senior year of high school
I basically thought dating was a sin, too
let's not even talk about kissing
wheeeeeeeeww, hellfire
I called myself a feminist
but I didn't know there were women pastors until I came to college
I grew up believing that if a woman was called into the ministry
it meant she should start looking for a pastor to be the wife of
and you were supposed to be submissive because you were a woman
not because you were a Christian
and all of this stuff was never really taught directly to me
it was just kind of known
and the tradition and the truth were hard to separate
but above all else,
more than anything
the culture I grew up in was passive
just go about your day
keep to yourself
your suburbs
don't worry about the world and its brokenness
or the people down the street that need redemption
nah, be passive--
I'm not saying this was everyone around me
I'm saying it was the culture around me
and it can be nice
and safe
and warm
and I'm thankful for my hometown
and my home
and my culture
they made me who I am
and I can't separate myself from them
but right now I'm taking a step into recognizing
that it isn't the only culture out there
and it isn't the "right" culture either
see this stuff,
this stuff that's made me, me
it isn't wrong
some of it may even be helpful and nice
and I can tell you plenty about all of the good it's done
but it is
one
just one interpretation
just one side of Christianity
through the cultural lens I grew up in
see I don't want to offend you
because I am you
so, instead I want to shock you a little into being
aware
because Jesus is too good to be tainted by our culture
the first step to ministering to people,
the first step to cultural reconciliation,
is realizing who you are.
